Infertility can be toilsome, both physically and mentally. Not just physical stress, but infertility leads to emotional distress for both partners. The stress and anxiety attached to trying to start a family and failing to do so are ineffable.
With this, infertility tends to impact relationships with your partner. As a couple, you can feel weak and stressed. However, remember that you are much more than this and can overcome it.
In this post, we will discuss a few ways how infertility affects your relationship with your partner and how to cope with it.
How does Infertility Affect a Relationship with Your Partner?
Stress When Trying to Conceive
Your sexual life may be the foremost to suffer because of the stress of trying to conceive. The thought of making a baby can make you extremely happy, but not when you have tried for months, yet there’s no sign of pregnancy. Couples attempting to time intercourse for their most fertile period are more likely to experience sexual relationship stress. When timed intercourse is used to get pregnant, research has found increased sexual dysfunction in both men and women.
Debates on Sharing it with Others
Infertility is typically a couple’s problem, except for single women or men attempting to have a baby with a sperm or egg donor. Talking about your problems with others is a decision you’ll have to make together as a couple. Great if you can agree on who and whether to tell. If you do not agree with each other, things may complicate.
Conflicts on Whether to Seek Medical Support or Not
Generally, there’s always a dilemma around whether you should take medical help to conceive or not. And, if you do feel like now you need to take help, when is the right time to consult? Speaking medically, if you have been trying to conceive for the last year, you should consult a doctor. If you’re above 35, you should seek help after six months of trying. Looking for a good fertility clinic in India? Banker IVF is the most trusted one. You receive advanced treatments using world-class facilities and under expert guidance.
Getting Misunderstood
Everyone uniquely handles stress. Gender differences in the way people cope with infertility have also been discovered in studies. These distinctions can cause misunderstandings. If one partner’s coping style is more subdued, the other may accuse them of being less caring and considerate. On the other hand, one of the partners may accuse the other of overreacting.
Financial Stress
Infertility treatment can be much expensive, so financial crises are quite common. Co-pays, fertility tests and treatments not covered by insurance, travel to and from fertility clinics, and lost work time due to procedures and appointments can strain your finances. The majority of couples will not require IVF treatment. Those who do so may face long-term financial consequences.
Disagreements
Many couples may remain poles apart on the decision of whether to pursue IVF treatment or not. There could be various reasons for disagreeing with each other. Some may differ because of bills or debts, while others may feel uncomfortable undergoing treatment. One partner may wish to take a break from tests and treatments, and another may not want to do so.
Blame Game
You or your partner have been diagnosed with infertility. You should support each other irrespective of one being fertile and another being infertile. You may have endometriosis, or your husband may have a low sperm count. The reason could be any, but it does not allow you to blame each other. Keep in mind that blaming won’t help since both of you are losing in the end.
It does not matter who is at fault, none of you got control over it. And it’s too late to change the few things you could have changed in the past, such as trying to conceive when you were younger. The reality is that having a baby will be more difficult for the two of you than it will be for many other couples.
7 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship When Struggling with Infertility:
1) Communicate
Communication is pivotal for resolving almost any issue. The same holds true for infertility. Conversing is a simple way to comprehend how you and your partner deal with infertility stress. Anger and resentment can result from a lack of communication. Instead of talking, you end up yelling or completely ignoring each other. Maintain your cool when answering questions about infertility and relationships.
2) Do Things that You Both Love
Infertility can take a toll on your relationship with your partner. The stress can be so high that you cannot indulge anymore in activities you used to love doing together. Infertility is not the end of everything. Ensure that you and your partner again start doing things that you both love. That could be anything from a romantic dinner, a good trip, a movie date, or simply watching shows on Netflix together. Such activities will assist you in feeling stress-free and cope infertility stress together.
3) Have Each Other’s Back
Women frequently bear far more of the hardship of fertility treatments than men. Women experience extreme physical and mental exhaustion during these procedures. This is the time when being supportive is extremely important. No individual should feel an extra burden due to a lot of household chores or any other work for that matter. Both should contribute equally, and in situations where a woman is not well, a man should step in and take charge too.
4) Try to be More Intimate
If all you both think about is conceiving while having sexual intercourse, then you are making a mistake. Sex is not just for making a baby – it is much more than that – it’s fun, joyful, and brings you closer to each other. Regular sex leads to the release of hormones that make you feel happy. It’s an excellent stress reliever, particularly during infertility. Stress-free intercourse raises your odds of conception in future.
5) Give Some Space
This may sound contrary to intimacy, but it will help you and your partner become closer. Relationships and marriages can be uptight. It’s normal for the two of you to grow tired of each other, especially when worried. Giving each other space has been shown to improve infertility and relationships. Being apart allows you to appreciate the positive aspects of your partner and helps you pursue solitary interests.
6) Couples Therapy
Before things go out of hands and you stop communicating with each other, seek couple therapy. There is nothing wrong with doing so. Talking to a professional will help you open up about your problems and get unbiased stances. Counselling can assist you in discovering fresh avenues to cope with infertility and relationship matters. A third party’s perspective can often provide valuable insights into your relationship that you and your partner would not have seen otherwise.
7) Ask for Support
Please don’t try to deal with infertility on your own. Shame prevents many individuals and couples from seeking help. However, studies have shown that couples who receive social support have better relationships. Social support is important for women experiencing infertility. You do not have to go out and declare it everywhere. You can share the information with some friends, family members or anyone in a support group. Just remember that you do not have to do everything alone.